We've heard of the children that are "chronically inflexible", children that lose their temper quickly over seemingly nothing, children that seem to be quite miserable overall. Standard modus operandus for these people is to implement the "discipline" even harder, which, if you've read the previous post's book, won't work. And it doesn't.
Similarly, dangling rewards like carrots and being clearer in consequences, only frustrates further, for these children who just can't. He illustrates this point with a great story on page 89, suggesting that if he were paid Michael Jordan's salary to play like Michael Jordan, well sure, he'd be motivated, but that alone wouldn't be enough to be an outstanding basketballer.
Greene argues that these children are developmentally unable to deal with frustrations, such as doing something that they don't want to do, leading them to lose it like a two year old. They may have any number of the various learning difficulties as well, so put these together, and you have one confused and tense child.
Greene's solution is simple enough: choose your battles. But, of course, it is difficult to implement, given a human's basic desire to avoid conflict. Through choosing (and you choose, not them) a "teachable" moment of conflict, you can get through to these children. That is not to "let them get away with things". It's merely a way of reducing their stress for the time being. Once they are better equipped to deal with conflict and exhibit a more controlled response, then the smaller things can begin to matter.
This is for those teachers and parents of children who are difficult to work out and manage. Ross Greene has an endearing writing style, and displays a sympathy - having met so many of these frustrated children.
Next review: "Teaching Children to Care" Ruth Sidney Charney....
Greene's solution is simple enough: choose your battles. But, of course, it is difficult to implement, given a human's basic desire to avoid conflict. Through choosing (and you choose, not them) a "teachable" moment of conflict, you can get through to these children. That is not to "let them get away with things". It's merely a way of reducing their stress for the time being. Once they are better equipped to deal with conflict and exhibit a more controlled response, then the smaller things can begin to matter.
This is for those teachers and parents of children who are difficult to work out and manage. Ross Greene has an endearing writing style, and displays a sympathy - having met so many of these frustrated children.
Next review: "Teaching Children to Care" Ruth Sidney Charney....
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